Nearly a decade ago, I was lying awake late at night, eagerly anticipating an early morning flight when I would join a cohort to begin my graduate studies. I tossed and turned, excited, nervous, and full of anticipation. Each time I impatiently looked at the clock, I found that hardly any time had passed since my last glance. And then, suddenly, I woke to a room flooded in light and the clock next to me reading 10 minutes past my flight time. Panicked and embarrassed, I called my program director to say I’d missed my flight and would be late to the inaugural gathering.
By many accounts, the 49 days between Pesach and Shavuot represent a time period of anticipation. The Israelites leave the trauma of slavery in Egypt, and begin their journey towards liberated peoplehood. As the moment of revelation at Sinai draws closer, busy preparations fill the camp, and the people take measures to ensure their purification and readiness for the moment (Exodus 19). Yet, a midrash teaches us that when the morning of revelation arrives, the people have slept in: And Moses went forth and came to the camp of the Israelites, and he aroused them from their sleep, saying to them: “Get up! God desires to give you the Torah!…The hour has come for giving you Torah!” (Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer 41).
We might wonder, how is it possible – after so much anticipation and preparation – that the Israelites were found sleeping when the day of revelation finally arrived? Reflecting on the Israelites behavior, bafflement is easily mixed with judgment – how could they be so inattentive? The custom to stay up all night on Shavuot (tikkun leil Shavuot) is a “tikkun” – a symbolic “repair” – for the Israelites’ mistake in this regard.
Yet, anticipation is complicated and varied. When preparing for a significant moment or event, we might change our behavior, cling to routine, or even find ourselves oversleeping from the exhaustion of expectation. As these 49 days unfold, consider: what does it look like and feel like for you to be “ready?” At the end of these days and weeks, how do you want to “show up” for revelation, and what can you do in the coming days and weeks to prepare yourself to exhibit these internal goals?
